February 2010
14 posts
4 tags
And one and two and three and four.
I recently registered for a ginormous exam called “THE BOARDS” that will measure my scientific competence through 400 multiple choice questions. It’s less than four months away. May 19. It’s an expensive way to get a number attached to my name on all future applications for further dental study, since Harvard runs a pass-fail show and there are few ways to differentiate...
January 2010
22 posts
2 tags
An early sign of rage.
“Dear Journal, [date unknown - 1993?]
Yesterday night I went to Plymouth and saw all sorts of ice sculptures. Kim came with me. Her favorite was the sculpture of a horse head. I like the one of a whale with feet sticking out of his mouth. Actually they were all good except I think that was the best.”
Kim and I sound like a couple of vindictive blood-thirsty second graders here, with...
1 tag
I made a funny
Am I being selfish to imagine that the removal of limbs might be worth just a few more bones???
GET IT??
Ha!
Ha! Ha!
This is what happens when I stay conscious beyond 11:30pm.
On a more serious note, is this policy void if I become dismembered but don’t also die? Like, that use of “and” is mighty suspicious. I would rest more easily with an “OR” there. Alas.
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Of flaming nunchuk dancers, one-armed bandits, and...
We officially survived our first encounter with the devilish attractions of Las Vegas. It was a brief trip, but high density and thoroughly exhausting. Apparently I couldn’t be bothered to take many photos, and certainly no documentation as ridiculous as the camera found in “The Hangover”. Unlike that Sin City story, no one in our group was lost, and all teeth remain firmly embedded in their...
3 tags
Flight #69 to Las Vegas
Me: Hey mom! Can you hear me?
Mom: Hang on. Let me turn this music down. I was just dancing.
Me: Sweet. I'm walking to the train, and then off to Vegas!
Mom: Oh, I'm jealous! One day we'll have to have a family reunion out there.
Me: Sure thing.
Mom: I heard that they FINALLY have brothels for women out there. Ya know, like for women customers.
Me: No kidding.
Mom: Well, it's about time. I mean, men have had their options for years, so it's about time women do too!
*PAUSE*
Me: I'm more of a buffet person, but I see what you mean.
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At least Massachusetts voters have good taste in... →
This week’s election is proof that Americans love checks and balances in government … or at least electing men who consider themselves to be very very award-winningly handsome.
2 tags
Make new friends, but keep the old.
This weekend I had the pleasure of hosting a Friday night pizza party for the half-dozen-ish classmates from Kalamazoo College who now live in the Boston area. It’s definitely my first official pizza party since unethically bribing high schoolers in Chicago. THINGS SURE GOT CRAZY. Just kidding. We are a mature group of students/professionals who quietly conversed in deep thoughtful...
1 tag
I must admit that I am a regular Sunday morning...
2 tags
Lazy no more
This week was incredibly dense with lots of new excitement and strange experiences. On Monday, I got a JOB and the best part is that it doesn’t start until May (after a HUGE dental school exam will be over) and it’s nearly guaranteed until I graduate! I’ll be a dental assistant for three hours a week, and the value from the experience itself will be much higher than the wage....
2 tags
Start drinking. But, read this first. Then, floss. →
2 tags
Dear Journal, 1-12-93
“Today is Teddy bear day. Yesterday was my first day Pre-team. I had to do 100 of sit-up, V-ups, push up, and mountain climbers. I had to do 200 criss-crossies too. We also did 10 minutes of jogging.”
Oh, little former gymnast self, I envy your work ethic! I don’t even know what the heck a V-up is, but it sounds physically challenging and rewarding all at the same time....
3 tags
"I had a dream last night that I went to a ob/gyn...
This recent text message from my Fertile Little Sister is either prophetic or based on a very good memory, because indeed I will be practicing some private parts exams real soon, despite my underlying dental identity. For example, I will be performing a RECTAL exam on a standardized patient this Thursday evening and a vaginal exam on another paid professional in two weeks from today. The joy and...
2 tags
1 tag
Treated! Zing! Dis! Burn! Schooled!
I actually like it when my mom makes fun of me because it shows that she’s still paying attention, after all these years. Being the farthest removed child sometimes means you’re the last to find out juicy family gossip and certainly the last to see any new excitement in action around the homestead. However, when Mom surprises you with a really witty personal teasing, it’s a...
How to be famous for Cocaine and Back Alley...
Ladies and gentlemen: I am proud to share this 150th Greenerie post with you! Huzzah!
Since July 2009, I’ve carefully established myself as the #1 Google search result for “5 hour energy parent company”, the #8 search result of “cocaine dentistry”, and the #13 result for “back alley dice”. These are living proof that internet readers love shady and/or...
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Dear Journal, 1-8-92
“Yesterday my sister Kristen twisted her ankle. Her ankle got kicked buy a boy in gym. I wondered why she was lapping behind and hopping on one foot.”
So empathetic you are, Young Self! Sheesh! In case you’re wondering, I have grown into a much more caring adult than second grader, and my sister has fared even better and walks without any external assistance. That kicking terror...
2 tags
At least we didn't have to cruise naked...
Two weeks ago, we were enjoying a relaxing evening cocktail on a peaceful veranda over the open sea, having set sail from Cozumel aboard the Carnival Inspiration. It was our fourth day on board, and our sunny afternoon had been spent soaking up as much snorkeling and kayaking as possible.
It was also our fourth day with zero luggage. Our bags were safe and sound, packed neatly and waiting for us...
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Dear Journal, 1-4-1993
On my Christmas vacation I went to Disney World. My favorite rides were Humuga Kawabunga, Horizons, Splash Mountain, and Peter Pans Flight. Spaceship Earth was pretty good to though Horizons was better.
It’s weird how such an incredibly momentous childhood vacation can be summarized in three flippant sentences. I shall teach my own future children to be more deeply reflective and...
1 tag
“Authentic Christianity is not learning a set of doctrines and then stepping in...”
– Bill Hybels. This is a New Years Resolution for the ages. Amen!
WatchSeventeen months ago, Jon and I were lucky enough to host our wedding reception at the very bowling alley in which we had met 6 years prior. ADORABLE. The alley’s owner gave us a very fancy bottle of bubbly that we’ve been carefully storing it on top of the fridge ever since. We probably should have sold it, but you only live once, right?
NOTE: This foray into video editing {if you can call it...