And it’s not just because people are tired of being unemployed. In a year where it’s hard to find any positive reviews of Michigan industry, the parent company of this annoying product is obviously basking in their Best Year Ever. It’s not like it takes a whole lot to stand out as a successful company in this struggling state; if you’re in business, then you’re doing just fine. At the same time, it’s hard not to cheer them on for infusing some much needed cash into the Great Lake State’s economy. If only they would move their Indiana production site to Michigan - it couldn’t possibly be more expensive to produce in Michigan at this point!
Those incessantly advertised little bottles are shrewdly portrayed as the ultimate American shortcut to a consequence-free power-boost. In a culture that celebrates excess, this method of over-energizing is shown as responsible, even required, in order to meet high productivity expectations. Whether under-sleeping or over-working or calorie-counting, I am impressed at how well the marketing targets Americans of all incomes and how the over-zealous advertising makes you wonder whether every person at this company has an IV drip of the potion.
Unfortunately, this intrigue led me to the product website, which in turn led to an internet-wasted hour of my youth. I found out that the company’s president is a U of M graduate, but that he doesn’t like proofreading (see final sentence). Also, in a weird twist, the ‘parent’ company is actually a legitimate biotech enterprise!
Confession: the only 2-shot-pack of this product I have ever purchased is resting calmly in my socks drawer, where it has been stashed since last September. I have a whole month left to consider consuming this elixir, but obviously no level of energy-debt in the past 12 months has convinced me to give it a try.
I think my fear comes from the prominent label, “Feel it in minutes. Lasts for hours.” NOT ALWAYS A GOOD THING! Remember poor Ethan Hawk in Training Day, where he was tricked into a horrible PCP-induced trip? Am I willing to risk a full-day of uncontrolled internal buzzing and decreased fine-motor coordination? Unlikely.
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greenerie posted this
