greenerie

A reason to love going to church.

Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:05:52 -0500

Who wouldn’t love some Sunday morning spirituality, when after-church-brunch plans are this beautiful:

Thanks to the lovely Helen for capturing this gorgeous Sunday morning ale flight at a GREAT Cambridge restaurant. Her immense Bloody Mary was a beauty to behold, as well. This was followed by a filling Buffalo tofu scramble, and a tall glass of non-alcoholic water. :)

That morning’s sermon focused on “doing stuff for God”, and I dare say that some old-fashioned in-person un-rushed conversations with friends are a great way to focus on loved ones the way God intended it: joyfully.

The Oscars were VERY BORING this year, with the only consolation...

Mon, 08 Mar 2010 16:28:00 -0500

The Oscars were VERY BORING this year, with the only consolation being the fantastic performance by the League of Extraordinary Dancers (one key dancer portrayed above in a promo - couldn’t find any quality footage of their actual performance last night).

James Taylor being the only live vocalist was sad, for multiple reasons, but at least these creative dancers were able to brightly shine for a few minutes. Clearly, if Tina Fey had been writing the hosts’ script instead of complete lame-o’s, Misters Martin and Baldwin could have possibly been funny. Or, if Chris Rock had been asked to do the job - again. I vote that Tina Fey & Chelsea Handler should co-host it next year. Who’s with me?!

It would be hard for the 2011 Academy Awards to be less impressive. However, it will take several successive boring Oscar nights to convince me it’s not worth my Sunday evening once a year. I won’t give up.

What do Sarah Palin and I NOW have in common?

Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:15:00 -0500

It all started when I received this snazzy news on Friday afternoon:

“On behalf of the Committee on Admissions and Degrees, I am pleased to extend to you an offer of admission to the Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH). We hope that you will join the HSPH class entering in the 2010-2011 academic year as a candidate for the full time Master of Public Health degree program in Health Care Management and Policy with an expected graduation date of May, 2011.”

This means that the Harvard School of Public Health will be my FIFTH college and/or university attended since graduating from high school, and I can officially join the ranks of such famous educational wanderlusts as SarahBarracudaPalin. It’s an honor to have this opportunity, because I think this school best matches my future goals and it makes me dizzy to think that Harvard will let me infiltrate two of their fine institutions. MADNESS!

I’m not going very far, since it’s literally next door to the dental school. Nor will I be gone for long, since it’s a brisk nine month degree! My inner curmudgeon is hesitant to get acquainted with yet another group of eager classmates, but thankfully my current colleagues will be very close by, doing their first extractions and dentures and whatnot. I plan to pester them persistently. My own clinical work will begin June 2011, and will one day finally graduate as a master public health medentalist!

As for now, I will savor the medical courses still left (hormones! digestion! poop!) and look forward to a nice looonnnggg summer. Life is good.

Now I can say I've been recruited by a prison. FINALLY.

Fri, 05 Mar 2010 17:17:00 -0500

I wish I had the energy to come up with a great knock-knock joke or punny riddle to contrast the intensity of life in prison with the fabulous lifestyle enjoyed by most dentists. It would be like pulling teeth to think up such a line, so instead I’ll say straightforwardly that working in a prison might be the ONLY WAY to envision myself as a hardcore health professional.

Aside from literally pulling peoples’ teeth in our own parking lot after dark, a career in prison health is about as antiestablishment towards modern privatized dentistry as it gets. Am I that cool and counter-culture? Probably not. In fact, I am so thrilled with the low level of hardcore stress involved in the life of a dentist, that I decided to pursue it as a career. Would prison dentistry be more or less stressful than running your own clinical business? Who knows. At least I’m now officially invited to find out for myself:

In two weeks, I’ll be spending several days in Baltimore with hundreds of other dental students from all fifty-something tooth schools in the U.S. Can we say PARTY?!? Bahahahah. I have faith that us dental students can be just as irresponsible as every other kind of student I know, and therefore we will hopefully have a fabulous time together.

Blurred for security. Like it matters.

All I can say is that I hope our evening receptions at this conference aren’t sponsored by the Bureau of Prisons, because judging by the budget available for these fancy recruitment fliers, we would be enjoying cold water and stale popcorn together if they were footing the bill. No offense, Prison System, I know you’ve got THREE F!@#!N MILLION of my fellow citizens to take care of these days. Must be real hard for you to recruit healthcare providers when you’re so busy recruiting all those dangerous marijuana abusers and untreated mentally ill adults around the country. Hrmph. Don’t get me started.

I’ll censor myself now, before I piss off some family members for protesting their personal experiences with the law. Suffice to say I have a thoroughly conflicted view on American law and order. But this was about dentistry to begin with, right? A severely more benign American industry than criminal justice, so I’ll conclude with: Y’ALL BETTER FLOSS NOW!

Happy Friday.

I’ve been wondering whether giving up meat for Lent is...

Wed, 03 Mar 2010 20:28:00 -0500

Indian entree attempt...

Aren't these peas stunning?

Fruit + Fiber = Fun

Ugly as sin: beans & buffalo "wings"

I’ve been wondering whether giving up meat for Lent is really that big of a sacrifice at all. Maybe I haven’t faced a good ol’ fashioned temptation to crunch on some bacon or slice up a nice steak and been forced to say, “No, thanks.” It’s been a lovely time so far, and I’m convinced that Trader Joe’s had vegetarians in mind when they packaged their delightful frozen entrees. So easy, delicious, and (mostly) healthy. Most of the edibles pictured above were picked up there, and I haven’t bored of their options yet.

Jon claims he still misses the old carnivorous ways with every veggie dinner, but I decided that it’s too much fun so I should probably just give up on some other unnecessary wasteful habit (Facebook) for a few days to actually experience a micro-sacrifice. Nothing painful, obviously, but a split-second provocation each time I go to log on that makes me steer toward a more productive or relaxing choice. I’ve cheated several times already, but hold a zero-guilt policy on this kind of thing. Now, instead of using Facebook to learn about the daily milestones achieved by many people’s children I’ve never met, or gaze into the collegiate lives of my former students, I will go study the gastrointestinal system. Yummy.

Better late than pregnant.

Tue, 02 Mar 2010 16:48:57 -0500

I hate to admit that school is requiring more of my attention than usual, but there. I said it. Me mortal. Maybe instead of just whining that I hate studying, because I typically don’t take well to boring memorization, I’ll fill you in on the reason why studying is getting more interesting: IT’S SO GROSS! Captivatingly nasty! Hideously fascinating! For example:

This pleasant set of images is HUMAN OVULATION IN ACTION! Like, actual egg emerging from actual ovary, and wishing it were landing in an actual uterus. Effing amazing.

We all started from a little jelly ball just like this one… unbelievable.

PROOF! Dear Journal, 3-15-93,

Thu, 25 Feb 2010 18:51:00 -0500

This might be the most calm depiction of my parents’ relationship in the history of my prolific journal. I typically omit the more stressful entries, and was so thrilled to see this gem of a story. Maybe we were a normal family (sometimes) after all! My father remains a big fan of pizza at home, and my mom continues to have birthdays. Adorable.

Diabetes --> Dialysis --> DEPRESSING!

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 20:56:00 -0500

Today we spent our clinical afternoon with a man who has been undergoing dialysis treatments for three years, which is generally required once kidneys start shutting down from any disease at all. For example:

I had zero clue what the hell dialysis was until a few recent lectures, and it ain’t pretty. Even though his experience with this hardcore intervention has been fairly successful, it’s still an incredibly tough prospect to think about spending 12 hours a week getting your entire blood volume sucked out and flooded back in, and having to do so FOREVER.

I couldn’t help but think about my own diabetic mother, and shudder at the thought that she might one day have to depend on this life-saving technology. There’s no going back after that, and many patients will eventually decide to stop treatments and then pass away on their own terms. Bleh. DEPRESSING.

I think my low-level anxiousness was heard somehow by the Big Man Upstairs, because just as soon as I settled in at home tonight, my mom called and proudly announced that for the first time EVER, she actually measured her blood glucose in her own kitchen with the help of a sympathetic ‘n’ diabetic neighbor friend who showed her how to use the finger prickin’ machine that I got her ages ago. HELL YEAH! ‘BOUT DAMN TIME! Even went on a walk today around the block, like she was struttin’ her normoglycemic stuff for all to admire. :) She’s a feisty fighter, and I am VERY proud of her. No dialysis for THIS lady, thank you very much.

The end.

Our transition to flesh-free eating is going well, and has...

Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:01:42 -0500

A beautiful meal, told backwards...

And, all 100% vegetarian!

Meatfree breakfast sammies

Gorgeous and delicious

blueberry banana oatmeal, deconstructed

Our transition to flesh-free eating is going well, and has sparked quite a different shopping list breakdown and recipe search than usual. We hadn’t done stuffed green peppers in ages, but it’s remarkably easy to combine any random foodstuff into a hearty sludge and shove it in a semipepper to bake into a feast.

These ones included black beans, tempeh (instead of rice), GimmeLean “sausage”, onions ‘n’ garlic, curry sauce, goat cheese, and bread crumbs, with ample Mexican blend shredded cheese on top. If I had to guess, I’d say the whole platter (5 stuffers total) cost about $13 - which I consider a delicious deal.

Breakfast sandwiches have also become a fixation for our Saturday morning, since these are usually our only lazy sleep-in day all week. Fake sausage can seem like the real deal when accompanied by cheddar, fried eggs and a toasted muffin. Any veggie product suggestions? Gimme!

We’ve got about six weeks before our 2nd annual muy meaty Easter dinner. Don’t think there are any veggie versions of that dish, which make it even more fun to look forward to. Que sabroso!

Start the video before you read any further. Excerpt from my...

Sat, 20 Feb 2010 10:40:42 -0500

Start the video before you read any further.

Excerpt from my prolific elementary school journal, dated 2-10-93:

“Dear Journal: Today Mrs. Mango told the class about the special table, and the manatees. We also got to see a really neat manatee movie. Tommorrow Katy’s coming over.”

I have no memory of the NEATO manatee movie we watched, but many exist in the youtube, and this one has a particularly relaxing vibe. These creatures may look like they were forgotten in a local sewer for a few generations, but as I recall they were being mauled by Florida speedboats at epic rates, and even possibly endangered. May it complement your weekend well.
“The Special Table” is incredibly mysterious and I really wish I could remember its significance. Like, was it nasty grown-up-speak for a time out zone? Or, rather, a reward area if you finished your quizzle early?
Mrs. Mango was my 2nd, 3rd, AND 4th grade teacher - and I am the only person I know to have had three years in a row with the same elementary school teacher and actually have been promoted each year. We used to call the less successful high school version of this 3-year connection the THREEPEAT, and I did indeed have one very special sophomore chemistry student for three years in a row. Let’s just say he enjoyed chemistry enough to try it over a couple times…
If you’re not entranced by these fugly aquabeasts by now, you clearly haven’t gotten to the part where they make out with ropes. Adorable!

Boorrrrriiiinnngggg

Fri, 19 Feb 2010 17:45:53 -0500

I would rather study the anatomy of teeth than finish watching the Tiger Woods’ apology video. Literally. So, why did I view more than half of it just now, you ask?

His awkward staringdirectlyatthecamera moments were rather entrancing; it was like he wanted MEEEE to know how ~~stupid~~ repentant he is, without a shadow of a doubt. All he really made me consider is that he should get his parotid glands examined, because those puffy cheeks look like they’re storing something delicious. Plus, I’ve never really seen a close up of him without a million dollar endorsement cap on, which was novel for at least the first three minutes.

Bottom line: if I wanted to waste fifteen minutes watching a biracial man with humungous worldwide fame deliver a VERY slowly paced internet speech that covers many seemingly unrelated topics, I would have watched the State of the Union. But I didn’t. Scanning a transcript later is SO much more efficient, and maybe at this point in my academic life, studying dental anatomy is how I should be spending my time anyways. Hrmph.

How to sexually repress suburban youth. Not like it's that hard.

Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:47:39 -0500

And by that I mean, how to send the timelessly ILLOGICAL message that dancing is wonderful, so long as you avoid rhythmically moving your body in a way that could be considered sexual.

My alma mater high school just cancelled a formal dance b/c of gyrating moves that my former students were doing YEARS ago, though we would have never dreamed of canceling a dance because of such icky-ness. Were we the coolest teachers in the world that just really appreciated the creative expression of our adolescent students? HELL NO. Back then it was called juking, not “freaking”, and it was totally repulsive. Nast! We certainly asked that they stop.

However, school administrators in my conservative hometown seem to recognize this modern dance evolution as a dangerous prequel to HIGHSCHOOLERS GONE WILD! This is coming from a huge loserprude (me), and I’ll say it again: dancing is inherently sexual, and to say that it’s BAD is to say sexual=BAD, which is BAAADDDD!!!

These administrators should be tickled that so many students would congregate to publicly socialize instead of lurking off into the creepiness of an unsupervised high school weekend and have ACTUAL SEX. Duh!

This example of hormone-phobia makes me feel grateful to have been a part of an urban school that CHERISHED anytime we could get kids to stay on campus and have fun, because it meant they weren’t doing a whole lot of other things that we’d just rather not see high schoolers get into. They will anyways, but by canceling a SUPERVISED Saturday night activity because it’s just too suggestive means that they are ten times more likely to have an UNsupervised weekend evening … gross.

Tomorrow morning I might regret my overly liberal reaction to this story, but hear me now, BHS Administration: they are gonna do it anyways, why not let them dance away their sexual frustration? To be honest, if it were THAT gross, there’s no way in the world they’d be doing it in front of a million teacher and parent chaperones. In weird sweaty dress-up clothes, and poorly fastened floral accessories. Think about it.

Dear Journal, 2-7-93

Mon, 15 Feb 2010 21:21:42 -0500

“Yesterday I saw Sesame Street Live. I got a water gloe light. It changes into different colors. I like blue best. On Saturday I visited my Uncle Tom in the nursing home.”

Was I too old to see Sesame Street Live, at the ripe age of 8? Absolutely. That’s what you get for being the oldest child in a family of five: delayed exit from media designed to teach toddlers to read. I can’t complain though, since that souvenir sounds entertaining and my parents were very nice to bring us to any live performances at all. The more embarrassing detail might be that I don’t actually remember thinking I was too old for it, yet their own website states that it’s designed for kids ages 0 - 6. Did my folks understand how deep of a dork they raised? I hesitate to ask - the truth might hurt. :)

Loving family seeking kitten! Right now please!

Sun, 14 Feb 2010 19:42:56 -0500

Well, more like young couple nowhere near having children is looking for an adorable feline diversion… which is proving a teensy bit harder than we thought it would be. My unrealistic expectations were that local shelters must be stuffed with baby kitties year round, and that we would saunter in and save the day for a helpless fluff of love. Easy cheezy.

However, apparently “kitten season” is not yet upon us - which I had never even heard of. We’ve scoured Craigslist, all local humane societies, Petfinder.com, etc., and none seem to have kittens available RIGHT NOW for adoption. Damn. I can’t be expected to be patient for a whole 48 hours when Jon is on board to get an animal AND we have Monday off to just play with it all day, can I?!?!

It may sound foolhardy to have the epiphany that kittens are cute and then move straight to adoption, BUT we have tossed around the idea of getting a cat for at least a year. Really! I hope that somehow we meet our future kittykitty very soon. Feral strays welcome! Just kidding. Gross.

Jon already has a name picked out, should it be of the male variety: Floyd. See here for the really classy inspiration.

So, happy Valentine’s day to our future animal companion, somewhere out therrrrre…

Never again!

Fri, 12 Feb 2010 22:57:00 -0500

Some randomly scanned TV show just used the term “lusty little lagoon” to describe an everyday outdoor whirlpool.

Image of dirty hot tubs??!! BAARRRRRFFF!!! I don’t mean to be a complete party pooper, but I think that every hot tub in the universe should have been marketed as the POOPPARTY3000, which would be an even clearer name to describe a GERMONIC social hot water medium that apparently also gets referred to publicly as a lustylittlelagoon. Shudder.

I risked googling that microbophilic phase, fearing getting my internet tapped by the web police, and was extremely relieved to discover that no commercial products bear that diseased name. I guess I didn’t google some possible variants, like LuztyLil’gyun or something like that. Either way: OFF LIMITS. Learn about folliculitis, and you’ll understand my aquatic apprehension and desire to avoid colonization.

This all having grown up next door to a very old couple who proudly displayed a hot tub on their handbuilt wooden front deck, despite the fact that we lived ON A LAKE. FRESH water much? Like, one day they were sitting out there thinking BOY I wish I could boil myself in the open air while gazing at the naturally wide open water. In full body swimsuits from the 1930s. Because this ‘ish is nasty and we’re old.

Never again will I make fun of Kristen for being the world’s #4 germophobe, or any of the others in training who I also refer to as classmates.

This collection is much heavier on FLESH than usual, which I...

Thu, 11 Feb 2010 18:54:00 -0500

Jon is a pulled pork wizard!

Soon to be shredded buffalo chicken

Garlic pineapple black bean red cabbage

Step 1: Slice 'n' dip

Step 2: Bake

Step 3: Stack 'n' Layer

Step 4: Gaze lovingly and surrender

This collection is much heavier on FLESH than usual, which I think is a subconscious drive because the fasting (and furious - Catholic humor) period of Lent begins next week. Last year we went meat-free for all forty days and I see no reason why we can’t dabble in that strange practice of vegetarianism one more time. We literally discovered entire categories of foodstuff that we’d never known about (tempeh?? seitan?! VEGETABLES?!).

It was a very fun process to go through together, but I haven’t gotten complete confirmation from Jon that he’s on board again. Considering I prepare a majority of our homebased meals (BECAUSE I LIKE TO), I would hope that my veggie vote counts for a bit more than 50% of the final decision. :)

I’m willing to compromise if that’s what it takes, especially looking back at these photos, which make it totes obvi why it would be a difficult walk away from such tasty tissues, I mean food, for a few weeks. Jon just makes a damn good meal. He’s a fabulous asset, and I enjoy complementing such proteinfests with crafty salads ‘n’ sides.

If I write one more RachelRayFanClub statement, I just might barf. Stopping now. Enjoy the foodage!

A procrastinating conversation, edited for clarity.

Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:17:00 -0500

Me: What do you know about the kidney? Make me feel smart.

Katie: anyway, don't kidneys clean blood?

Me: That's the spleen, silly!

Katie: DAMNIT. knew it.

Me: Kidneys REGULATE blood.

Katie: blabhablhbalbh, fine

Katie: Hey hey, what's the capital of North Korea? Hmmm?

Me: Pyongyang?

Katie: DUH

Katie: okay okay, can't trick you so easily

Me: Gimme another!

Katie: Okay, who is the Secretary General of the UN?

Me: Ban Chi Moon? Sun Kim Moon? Moon Ki Sunrise? AM I CLOSE?

Katie: Ki-Moon, well I thought you were dumber than that. good work

NOTE TO READER - I was being mean. The kidney totally does filter blood. Spleens are helpful, but not completely necessary. Heehee.

Around the world in 110 days...

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:47:19 -0500

Today marked the delivery of TWO large envelope packages, which is always exciting. Even if you’ve completely initiated whatever order that sends the package your way, I think we can agree that receiving them is universally exciting and heartily patronize the post office whenever possible.

The first package, however, has been in transit for OVER THREE MONTHS. Literally. How in the world could the German and/or American postal services be unable to deliver this, and yet actually keep track of this little bundle for so long?!? Bizarrrre. Thank goodness the artificially sugar-free Halloween candy inside is scientifically incapable of aging. Katie, get ready for your housewarming present! ;)

In other postal news, my electronic attempt to get more fit has resulted in the actual responsibility to start getting up early and jumping around my living room. Let’s hope I don’t pull the muscles required to study… oh wait. Learning and fitness are almost mutually exclusive. Atrophy be banished!

Crazy Tax-a-chusetts!

Sat, 06 Feb 2010 11:59:50 -0500

I am very excited to be nearly done with our 2009 taxes. I have enjoyed preparing taxes ever since my first filing in 1999, because it always means a big REFUND and exciting cash flow surge to start the new year off ballin’.

Last year was a kick in the teeth since we actually had to pay Uncle Sam, but the same mistakes were NOT made this year and again we can now look forward to a personal micro-bail-out in the form of another lovely refund. Hooray!

I love me some Turbotax, but the screen above was almost too much to handle. REFUNDABLE DAIRY CREDIT? SENIOR CIRCUIT BREAKER CREDIT?? SEPTIC CREDIT?!??! This is nonsense! This state has some wild tax practices, but I’ll trust the machine and hope that I haven’t missed out on some opportunities to save money.

I hope your own tax process is going well. Cheers to taxation with representation… or something like that.

"Dear Journal, (date unknown, c. 1993)

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:17:07 -0500

Yesterday my fell outside and hit and hurt her rearend. She couldn’t be a lunch Lady because of it. She said that she would go to the doctor if the wouldn’t go away in a few days. “

1. I’m moderately concerned about my diction here, given the obvious absence of “mom” in line one and “pain” in line 2. Was I so upset about this that I couldn’t write out those two words, as a sign of weird aphasic empathy for my mom’s severe pain?

2. She must not have been in that much pain given that I don’t remember this incident whatsoever. I do remember one time she fell up a few concrete stairs and got a nasty big shin cut. Good story.

3. GREENERIE TRIVIA: My mother was my husband’s lunch lady during middle school. Mine too. It’s a great sign that she has no recollection of him, because she only remembers the kids who are now incarcerated. Some middleschoolers are just memorable like that.